To get the most out of this rant you need to pronounce the word “slags” thus :Shlaaaags!
Now a lot of you know me and know also that I absolutely love women in every size from 6 to 22 and from 18 to 60+ and indeed have when time and the ladies have permitted. However there is one thing that turns me off big time from any lady and that is to see her out in public puffing on a fag!
Yes, I am an ancient wrinkly well past my “sell-by” date, and have been brought up in a far off land where things are done differently called Thepast, but I just cannot stand it and it makes me immediately lose any anticipatory stirrings in the trouser department but also start thinking the word above, sorry ladies but it happens and it is just me. Or is it?
It is bad enough when they walk down the road smoking because at least they only are doing it to themselves but today was amazingly bad. I had popped into Waitrose to do some provisioning (Because I am posh!! LOL) and into the car park chugged this upscale Merc with at least 12 cylinders under the hood and a gorgeous bottle blonde with her equally shaggable bottle blonde sister alongside riding shotgun. Each had a fag hanging from beautifully botoxed ruby red lipsticked lips and both were wearing woollen black slinky fit dresses that would have had Robert Palmer spinning in his grave with a woody! Without the fags they would have been perfect, with them they were already on my “Not even with a 10’ barge pole list” however it got worse.
Once they had parked and got out, they went to the boot and got out two baby buggies and got two infant children out of the rear car seats and bunged them into the buggies and sashayed off.
So these otherwise totally bodaciously rumpable MILFs had subjected their infant offspring to passive smoking too!!
Not only were they Shlaaaaags with a capital S in my book, they were also callous uncaring ones too. Call me old fashioned but how can you call yourself a good Mum and poison your own kids?